Amongst These Splintered Minds​/​/​Leaden Thoughts Sing Softly

by The Act of Estimating as Worthless

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Released by Mt. Home, Double Double Whammy, and the band. Download comes with .pdf version of the book from the first edition.


released February 24, 2012

Recorded between October 2010 and December 2011 by Michael Ditrio

Music by the Act of Estimating as Worthless

On this record:
Zoe Grant - guitar/vocals
Matthew Van Asselt - guitar/vocals/glockenspiel/bass guitar
Michael Ditrio - percussion
Peter Olynciw - upright bass
Jonathan Cummings - trumpet
Lily Holgate - violin
Thomas McHugh - trombone



all rights reserved
Track Name: Bones
i see you for what you really are
you’re nothing but a pile of bones
so paper white
crush them
crush them
crush them
i will crush them
sweep them into a pile and throw them out my front door

the only air i breathe is that of your paper white bones
and cigarette smoke that lingers when i come home
please tell me that it won’t take too long
for us to get
for us to get home

i have a feeling that there’s something wrong
something so terribly wrong
tell me what’s wrong
something will change before the day is gone
before your eyelids fall surrendering to slumber

please don’t run away from here
i am fearful
please be weary of this fear i feel
please don’t run away from here
i am fearful please stay where i can see you my dear

all is see is your bones
so paper white
Track Name: A Few Paces Behind
i rubbed the dirt from my eye
and accidentally made myself cry
i watched as the weight on your shoulder made you tip over
but still i find myself wishing i was more like you

my hands grow tight with apprehension
all this tension built up over the years
i’m just looking for some attention - the kind that you pay for
the kind that gets you through conversations and other things we have to do

you are just a few paces behind me
i will wait for you

the day is breaking my knees are shaking i worry that i’ve taken too much
my mind is empty and here you’ve left me i’m sorry if i fucked everything up
know that there will always be tomorrow
Track Name: No One on the Road
you didn’t like landing
you told me as your curled up in your seat
pulled your sweatshirt over your head
so you wouldn’t see us descend

and i didn’t like taking off
but in the air we were both fine

we walked there together
but not way that i thought we would
you were barefoot on the concrete
i was wearing shoes my feet

but i wanted to take them off
and feel the dirt between my toes

and i drive more slowly when its late at night
and there’s no one else on the highway
and the sky glows orange
and makes the river shine
Track Name: Night Time
so light your incense and put one in each corning of the room
and hope that calming scent will follow you where ever you may go

let’s fill the room with candles
pretend the power’s out
and listen to the wind and rain as we eat dinner in the soft light
watch the shadows from the small flames up against the bookshelf
try to ignore whenever someone turns on a light
tell them the powers out, what are you doing?

stop the car and climb that hill next to the highway
and look down at the lights of all the houses beneath us
and up through the power lines to the stars above
then back to the car
the sun is almost rising now
watch the shadows of the guardrail passing on the pavement
as we drive all day trying to make it to the ocean
so lets go sit by the water till the sun sets
and we’ll find the perfect rocks to keep in our pockets
Track Name: Lost in the Water
lost cause
i was a lost cause
but now i feel good ‘cause i suffered no loss
but i got lost
lost in the forest and then i felt it
felt it getting boring
so i fell asleep with my thoughts spread out surrounding me
and i walked to the dreamland
it was a nightmarish sort of island
there were monsters that chased me
telling me today would be my last day
so i said hello to the last day i would know
and i don’t know whether i’ll be coming home
for i am lost in the water
the water i swam in when i was escaping
and now i am drowning
sinking to the bottom
but the bottom is open perhaps you’ve forgotten
that a circle has an end even if it connects to where it begins
Track Name: My Left Thumb
my left thumb goes on top when i weave my fingers together
and i can’t remember whose thumb went on top when our hand were together

but lately i’ve been told that i’m thinking too much
and not just about you
but there are certain memories i just can’t get out of head
like how the lights above your hammock
looked like glowing dragonfly wings
in the dark without my glasses on
and the passing trains shook us as we slowly drifted off

but here instead of passing trains there are only passing airplanes
which are less comforting because they don’t remind me of you
and from my window they don’t look like how they used to look from yours
Track Name: Massive Windows
we opened the doors to massive windows
and slammed the cold wind out behind us.
huddled in the entrance we turned lights on
and though i couldn’t see through the curtains
i knew what was behind them

but when we pulled the curtains up
it was too dark for us to see
anything but our own reflections

no mountains no valleys no massive skies
no birds in the trees with their tiny black eyes

for that we’d have to wait till morning

and i’m finding this hard to put into words but there’s something ironic about the way this happens
here we are in the middle of a mountain range but everything that we can see is all manmade -
even the windows just show us the room we stand in
Track Name: Nickels and Dimes
i’ve got goosebumps on my arms from the cold outside
won’t you wrap me in a blanket and take me inside
give me a plate of cookies and a cup of tea
light a fire to dry the socks that i’m wearing on my feet
this is not a simple path that were walking down
you’re talking to me like a child
pull the drapes off of your face
and take a walk now
over rooftops under cities that shine with the starts

look how bright they shine
oh bright they shine

pictures pictures all around waiting to be taken
bracelets fall to the ground waiting to be found again
along with spare change and small things

they’re waiting to be found
i’m waiting to found
Track Name: The Troll
looking at me with those cold cold eyes
those plastic eyes where worries lie
took you by the hand with my warm warm hands
the only hand you’ll understand

we walked until my feet grew still
my heart was broken - i laid it down
we walked until you grew still
my heart was weeping -
i laid it down

blood blood running down your face wondering where it came from - are you okay?
run run to another place
to another day
another day
Track Name: Coup D'etre Humain
fingernails from tiny fingers are scratching at my soul
suddenly i find myself to be lying on the floor
i am waiting

i am praying that those tiny fingers don’t dig themselves a hole
and find they’re way inside my ribcage to colonize my soul

so i built myself an armored coat
made of all these things i know
to repel them from my soul
keep those tiny fingers out of my soul

but they scratched the surface
dug their holes
i surrendered letting go of
things that i once held so close
let those fingers build their homes
now i’m nothing more than a hollow stone

they removed my skin to let some light in
cut my bones and now i’m broken
wondered if i could’ve fought them
gave up wondering because what happens happens
gave up caring because what happens happens
gave up living because what the hell happened
i’m alone because they let me go just a pile of skin next to some broken bones
Track Name: Gem
sitting here wondering if i’ll get along
thinking the same thing about you
seven years isn’t really very long
but it feels like a lifetime, it feels like a lifetime

and the light that is tearing up the sky is coming for me

taking pictures like you will forget everything you saw
always so far away
please come closer so i can touch you hold you rub you grope you feel you make you never go away

because life is a roller coaster,
a roller coaster they say

run your fingers through your hair
walk away and leave me standing there
all i want is to follow you, walk with you, be with you, live with you, and die

most of me is you