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Circadian Tremors

by The Act of Estimating as Worthless

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1.
pinstripe dirty grime of daylight lies watching me sleep, nighttime’s like an ocean deep like the ocean (dark waters) its getting hard to see where you’ve gone. how long have i been waiting? “far too long,” says my heart tacked up on the wall so stand up and say a toast to my bones to my bones and my skin and my porcelain bones drink through the night cause we already know tomorrow will end anyways i survive off of cheap red wine the voices try but they cannot find me i dive head first into the parapets made by your ribs they expand when you breath - to you this comes easy but not so for me. i’m so sad i have nothing to show for my broken bones it may not be over, but i’m coming home. pencil lines draw a path to my window where telephone poles crush the leaves of the oak and i tried to purge you forget what i loved but i never thought that this would be so hard. i trusted you that you would never leave but believe me i know now that trust comes too easy; this self-proclaimed ocean you said would be shallow but waters up over my head and i’m drowning. each night i dream of driving of driving the road so appealing to my stagnant being but puddles meet puddles, and turn into sea (this sea i know is far too deep) my skeletal heart is shattered you’ve got my blood on your hands dripping down to your toes so stand up and say a toast to my bones, my quivering bones now withered and old.
2.
Algae 04:38
algae green lake water, still wet, thick sweat sticks to my skin, keeps it from sinking in, a barrier just like the mountains around me keep the land from the sun, too hot, too bright, at night don’t feel so weak but we all still go to sleep, me cause i don’t feel at home when i am awake here. and i’ll shake this water off me and i’ll wipe this algae off me and i’ll scrape away my skin and sand down my bones till they’re smooth again you’ve made me who i am. a barrier also keeps me from you where your water flows still so river blue and your skin (probably soft as its always been) still tries to keep river out and bones in. but river is far keener than lake always waiting till its right, until skin is not so tight before sneaking quickly in to make a home beneath your skin and erode your bones until they begin to slowly crumble and i’ll shake this water off me and i’ll wipe this algae off me and i’ll scrape away my skin and sand down my bones till they’re smooth again you’ve made me who i am again.
3.
Who You Are 00:56
with my eyes closed i can’t tell who you are i can only tell who you are not and with my fists balled i can’t tell a thing (i can’t feel a thing).
4.
Fireworks 03:59
we all came here to make sure we wouldn’t forget we only came here to make sure we wouldn’t feel left out it might have been easier had we just stayed in stayed home gone to bed. we all wanted to anyway or at least i did. had there been no fireworks at all the camera flashes would have been bright enough they would have been loud enough they would have been bright enough they would have been loud enough they would have been enough of a spectacle we only came here to make sure we wouldn’t forget. its funny how in a crowd full of so many people you can still feel so distant and its funny that whatever we’re celebrating is so intangible and i’m not even from here, so i don’t feel any pride whatever that feels like.
5.
Popolopen 02:24
popolopen open up a token for my luck and whats the fucking chance i'll get a paltry bite to eat tonight these pleats wrap round my thighs so tight for reasons that i do not like i've tried your ways, the stairs you gave to heaven's stone grey hellish gates, i waited and i watched as you dug my grave. brisk winds and cloudy haze no space for all of my mistaken steps i've taken walking up throw hands up, arms up below lies failed truncated path take bath in sun and cold old news now popolopen righteous warrior has spoken feet leave empty not quite knowing where it ends oh popolopen where it ends.
6.
Black Fly 05:08
don't forget my name for i'll be coming round again. blank faces in blank landscapes and green hills and pastures wait for my skin tight meditation (at which i am incapable) so i return to self mutilation of which i know too well. so hold me up older wise one, hold me up to your shoulder break the icicles over my head rid me of this boredom and if i die for you will you die for me too? sun drops on my skin today kiss me and say that you love me the same as you did on that day that we sat there on swings until some time in the morning when the sunlight killed something i think i knew when you warned me but i still cut off your mouth, and you cut off mine too, and i wept for you i wept for you but for me you weren’t able to and now i just want to die but i would miss those warm aestival nights. so hold me up older wise one, hold me up to your shoulder break the icicles over my head break the icicles. and if i die for you will you die for me too? if i die for you will you die for me too?

about

MTH007/BWM019
Released by Mt. Home Arts, Broken World Media, and the band.

credits

released August 18, 2013

On this recording, The Act of Estimating as Worthless is:

Zoe Grant - Guitar, Vocals
Matthew Van Asselt - Guitar, Vocals
Mike Ditrio - Drums
Lily Holgate - Violin
Maria Hadge - Cello
John Cummings - Trumpet
Pete Olynciw - Upright and Electric Bass

all songs and arrangements are by The Act of Estimating as Worthless

recorded by Mike Ditrio mainly at the Seaside Lounge in Brooklyn, NY
with additional recording at 34puritandrive@optonline.net

mastered by Mitch Rackin

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Mt. Home Arts New York, New York

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